How I became a Late Night Girl

 

 

Clive Schlee, CEO of Pret A Manger stepped on my dignity, patronizing me by calling me his “late night girl” two months before Pret fired me while my dad was in intensive care, just out of a coma. I was bullied during bereavement, manipulated and gaslighted under the watchful eye of Pret’s HR department. Why the CEO labeled me this I explain on my blog here in detail. I adopted this “label” to be a sore in Pret’s sight, in hopes they will never do to employees again what they’ve done to me.

How did I become a late night girl?

 

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On 12. January 2015 I woke up and checked my email while still in bed blurry-eyed. Bed, the most vulnerable and safe place to be in. I had late shift that week and thought I quickly check my mail before turning around to sleep some more and later go to work.

I found myself making the fastest jump out of bed I’ve ever made, but that jump felt like slow motion, as if I got stuck in mid air and my room was moving by me in an eerie pace. The light painted wall became fogged up like someone just poured a dust-like grey powder over it. When I landed on my feet, I felt like a deformed cartoon character out of a Tom & Jerry fighting scene, who got whacked over the head and entered into another world. But it was more like a shotgun hole in my gut, something ripped life out of my system and left a huge crater behind.

My bedroom wasn’t my bedroom anymore, my apartment wasn’t my apartment anymore, my mind wasn’t my mind anymore. It was just like it feels when you return from a two or three week trip to a different country and culture, returning home and your place has a different feel to it, a stale atmosphere because you’ve gotten used to a different place, food, impressions, language.

Of course your apartment or house is still the same, it’s just you who has to readjust to the familiar and safe place you know so well and fill it with life again. But for me it was like I’ve come “home” to hell. It was the beginning of a very long and dark time in that world, which I am still standing in with one foot, while the other foot is trying to venture out to find green pastures.

In a 6 or 7 sentence email the sender went down a quick and short route to inform me that my brother has been found dead in his flat on the 15. December 2014. Next of kin could not be found in time (in a country as efficient as Germany!). Cause of death not clear, no autopsy, he lay dead for an estimated 6 days plus/minus before he was found, and then they just cremated him before finding us!

[After I flew over the next day to personally – not over the phone! – bring my mum the death of her son she gave life to, we arranged for his urn to be brought over from the city where he lived in. To our utter disbelief they sent his urn via post to the city’s council where my mum lives, so we can bury whatever was left of my brother close to my mum. Another German procedure I didn’t know was even done like this, sending an urn via post?!]

Furthermore I was advised to reject the inheritance as his estate was highly in debt, which also meant I learned later that I could not retrieve any of his belongings and was informed later that any belongings with no financial value has been destroyed…

The email ended with some other instructions. Kind regards.

My phone became like a curse in my hand that I could not understand that this was a phone I was holding, just starring at it, reading an electronic mail giving me a message of death.

I died that day.

 

 

 

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Continued > When Machines Bring You Death

 

 

A Plea!

 

 

©2018 LateNightGirl.org, Poetrasblok.com

 

11 thoughts on “How I became a Late Night Girl

  1. OMGosh? 6days?? – Wow! I know that was not something you and your family were ready to experience, less known deal with and the fact that they cremated him before you all could get one last look at him is very heart breaking. You really never get over a lose, no matter how long it’s been. Praying for you and your family…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. What a terrible and tragic story, your loss compounded by the other circumstances you had to deal with. Deepest sympathy – a friend died in similar circumstances and it’s such a shock, and never to know properly the circumstances is so sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Lois, you just made my day. I found youf website just today, I don’t know how, but I was thinking how your site was put together so well. I love the large print on a “minimalist-ish” background. And your writings are beautiful.
    If you want to really empathize for “the other circumstances” please do so via the contact form on Pret.com
    Other than that your words mean nothing to me.
    But thank you for having taking your time.

    Like

  4. Great writing! I’ll leave it at that as I don’t know what you are going through with your last comment, but aside from the tragic circumstance you clearly have a talent in expression. Hope you’re ok.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your kind words. I couldn’t express anything the first 2-3 years except just angry words. The feeling was there but not the words what went through me. I am okay-ish. It’s like what Billy Bob Thornton said about the death of his brother:

      https://latenightgirl.org/grief-mental-health/2nd-home/ive-never-been-the-same/

      I was never a fan of Thornton until I watched the Amazon series “Goliath” (first season, am not keen on the 2nd season). He got my attention then and can relate a little bit now why he came across so “cocky” sometimes and is more withdrawn in real life. You’re just never the same when you experience a significant loss.

      Like

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