I walked a different route than I usually take on my walks and came across this memorial / tribute from a mother to her son who died 18 years ago. To this mum it seems as fresh as yesterday. I may never meet this mother and must have just missed her that day as this card seems brand new and untouched from the weather yet, but to me her grief and her son will have a place here as well as she shares so openly.
The nightmare of losing a child I cannot grasp.
A touching tribute that also reminds me of a couple who started a project after having lost their son in an accident in Vietnam while he traveled the world. They made a documentary about their grief and grieving parents they interviewed. They even conducted the funeral by themselves, including building the casket for their son. A funeral which in itself was full of celebration of life as well as a farewell.
A beautiful film which the couple produced and toured UK cinemas recently, holding Q&A’s after the screening. Their “mission”, apart from coming to terms, is to communicate grief as the natural process of life, instead of hiding away from it as this taboo it is so sadly treated in society today.
One of the things Jimmy Edmonds, the father of Joshua mentioned in the London Q&A after the screening was, that in Victorian times it was very natural and common to speak about death and dying, but it was taboo to speak about sex then. Today it’s the complete opposite.
The simple aim of The Good Grief Project is Dedicated to understanding grief as a creative and active process.
The documentary does not scare you away from the “subject” of bereavement. It is done so graciously and authentically, I had some “good” cries watching it compared to the dark and paralyzing cries I’ve had in these three years. There is no gloom or doom in it. The film is mainly aimed for grieving parents, but is also very relieving for anyone who grieves any loved one or friend.
Please pass on The Good Grief Project to any parent who lost a child, be it in stillbirth or any age and circumstance. And even for anyone in bereavement who’s lost any person. I find their project and work very “refreshing” if that is an appropriate thing to say about death and grief. But that’s how I feel in my time of “bad” grief.
“I remember running to the sea
The burning houses and the trees
I remember running to the sea
Alone and blinded by the fear
And the river flows beneath your skin
Like savage horses kept within
And all is wasted in the sand
Like breaking diamonds with your hand”
— Torbjorn Brundtland, Svein Berge