That never wrote to me,–
The simple news that Nature told,
With tender majesty.
Her message is committed
To hands I cannot see;
For love of her, sweet countrymen,
Judge tenderly of me”
— Emily Dickinson
if you read through this weird and crazy blog and website, I am still in the period of “peace before the storm”, as I assume a powerful company will try one last time to crush me. But I know they will rather work their PR(et) machine to keep convincing the public what a wonderful company they are in how they treat their staff. I survived to tell a different story.
I wish I could say that I am healed and moved on, and my blog here isn’t as much with “tender majesty” as I would have hoped to write. But the pain and trauma I still go through seems too grave to recover from. I had often had two choices since my brother died and the added turmoil of bullying in Pret, I either end my life or openly write down my story, or both.
But I have abandoned the thought of suicide, as this would not help anyone. Half my family is gone, I buried my dad in March, three months after getting fired while he just came out of a coma. I don’t need to put more grief on whoever is left. And my friends who helped and supported me as best as they could, especially my friends in the States and Germany, I couldn’t do that to them. That wouldn’t be fair on anyone. And I decided no matter what they do to me, no matter what tricks and how huge the pain and panic attacks and hopelessness, my life is in God’s hands.
If you or someone you know struggles with suicidal thoughts and live in or around London, UK, please pass the following two charity sites on:
Maytree (5 night free stay in-house) that referred me to The Listening Place.
Thank you for reading.